Mr. T vs. Chuck Norris

Mr. T

* Some fools like to ask Mr. T what his real name is. Some fools also like
being stomped to death.

* Mr. T was the first to kill two birds with one stone. He kept the stone,
and as of now it has killed 6,048.

* The Mr. T is the first and only person to pity fools professionally.

* One night Mr. T took a 10 p.m. train home. He still refuses to give it
back.

* Before Mr.T was born there were only 25 letters in the alphabet.

* You can douse Mr. T in gasoline, but it is too frightened of him to
ignite. He pities the fuel.

* Few people know that "The A-Team" was completely true. The only thing
the producers invented was that the A-Team had been in Vietnam. If Mr. T
had actually been fighting for the US in Vietnam, Saigon would be the
capital of America's fifty-first state right now.

* Mr. T destroyed the periodic table, saying Mr. T. only recognizes the
element of surprise.

Chuck Norris

* When Chuck Norris was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

* If you wake up in the morning, it's because Chuck Norris spared your life.

* What color is Chuck Norris's blood? Trick question. Chuck Norris does
not bleed.

* Chuck Norris once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next
half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

* 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Chuck Norris. Sounds like a fair
fight.

* Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

* Chuck Norris doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was
shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

* You can lead a horse to water. Chuck Norris can make him drink.

* Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him
blink.

* When you open a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris jumps out.

* Simon Says should be renamed to Chuck Norris Says because if Chuck
Norris says something then you better do it.

* Killing Chuck Norris doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

* When Google can't find something, it asks Chuck Norris for help.

* In 96 hours, Chuck Norris has killed 93 people and saved the world 4
times. What have you done with your life?

* There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Chuck Norris way. It's
basically the right way but faster and more deaths.

* When Chuck Norris watches a pot, it boils immediately.

* Chuck Norris once killed a group of Samurai Warriors with only a ball
point pen. This lead to the phrase "The pen is mightier than the sword."

* When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck
Norris.

Dankie Jaco... dit was fun, geniet dit mense en sterkte met jul super 14...